Unknown Melancholies

I am sad, totally sad. I am in a gloomy state of mind. But the weird thing is, i don't even know why. All I know is that I am not happy with what's happening right now in my life. Yes, i have my family with me, my friends, a job, but i still feel... sad. I am sort of numb with my previous problems and i've cried enough. Maybe all those tears explained how apalling my life have been. I am sort of numb that as if I am walking on ice yet my feet are still relaxed, i am breathing yet my lungs are already hyperventilated, I can hear the sounds around me but i can't comprehend the origin of their resonance. I can feel the breeze but my skin won't transmit the impulse to my nerves. Totally weird, totally vague. Maybe at one point in our lives, we really do feel a total darkness and we can't find our way out of its misery. I am perhaps in that particular point in life where i don't know what's wrong or what's bothering me. Or maybe i am in the state of denial, denying that i have terrible problems and i am just coward to face them. Maybe my mind is just having a defense mechanism to prevent me from being insane, that's why i am totally oblivious to what's wrong with my life. I just hope and pray that this ambiguity will end. I don't know how and when... I feel like crying now...

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